At 2:15 a.m., I got tired of not being able to get comfortable, and of not being able to fall asleep. The rotator cuff problems I’m having in my right shoulder kept screaming at me. So I got up.
For about the last 3 hours, I’ve just been praying. Praying for someone who is so confused. Praying for someone who wants so much to be happy, but is fighting real happiness. I wish it were within my power to make him understand that I know the way to his happiness. I want to say, “Just trust me. I won’t lie to you. I won’t hurt you.” But it isn’t within my power to make anyone believe what I know to be true. The life we lead is so different from what he has known in the past. He’s been taught things that are just wrong.
He was searching for something when he first came to visit us – friendship, love, acceptance, escape from mind-numbing boredom? He found it here, without a doubt (although I think we may have increased his boredom), but he’s not comfortable with it. I want him to know this important thing: the only place he is going to find unconditional love and complete acceptance, is in a place where God truly comes first. “Love” from any other place, is conditional – it depends on things like your looks, your income, your activities/likes/dislikes, your mood, your availability……the list goes on. That isn’t love, and it isn’t satisfying. That kind of “love” is willing to shoot you down. This kind does not.
I just want so much for him to know that I will not ever give up. I will always pray. No matter what. That’s what love does. I hope in the 3 years he has known us, that we have in some way been able to show him the kind of love that God has for us. I hope it’s been obvious in everything we’ve done. I hope we’ve been different than other people he has known. I would do it all over again.
1 Cor 13
13:1 If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth but didn’t love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything, but didn’t love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, without love I would be no good to anybody. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear. 9 Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! 10 But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear.
11 It’s like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.
13 There are three things that will endure — faith, hope, and love — and the greatest of these is love. NLT
Ps 37:4…..4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart . NIV