Kay went home


Our friend, Kay, died today. She had cancer.

Kay was the sweetest lady. She was a member of our church. She left another mega-church in our area several years ago because of a divorce. Her husband, who was active in that church, physically abused her, cheated on her and divorced her. Then he tried to get out of giving her the property from their marriage, that he was told to give her in the divorce.

The mega-church told her she should probably leave and find another church. This is a hugely popular church, and this man was a deacon there. I have family that goes to that church. But I am not impressed by it. Any church that would let a man who beat and cheated on his wife remain, a deacon and children’s church teacher, and then tell the wife to leave the church, has a LOT of explaining to do to God.

Once when I came to church in a new dress and new shoes, she was amazed that I had a husband who would let me buy things like that.

She has a son and daughter that have acted like the north ends of south-bound mules toward their mother. They did not love her, and all they were interested in was getting what little money she had. They never had anything to do with her until they found out she had cancer. Then they begrudgingly took her to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center and dropped her off for her chemo treatments.

The kids told their mother that they were happy for their father and his new wife. They said they thought he was better off with the new wife. All of us at church have just been appalled at the things her family has said to her, and the way they have treated her.

Kay ignored her breast cancer until it had spread through her entire body. When a doctor discovered it before surgery for a different problem, she did not want him to examine her. She just wanted it left alone. It wasn’t like it was a small lump….it was a huge hole. It was obvious there was something wrong.

The doctors gave her 2 years if she had chemo, and 1 year without it. She has gone over her 2 years. We last saw her January 20. She came to church with her sister and brother-in-law. She was already on hospice care then. I did not get to hug her that day, because I did not want to give her my bronchitis.

She was on high doses of morphine which made her very unstable, and she was always afraid people would think she was drunk. One Sunday she apologized to me for appearing to be drunk, and kept assuring me she had not been drinking. I told her I knew that and she did not ever have to worry about me thinking it.

Kay wanted me, Bethany and our pastor’s wife to sing at the funeral. Her kids decided the ex-husband is going to sing. Kay wanted Dorothy (a lady at church) to take her dogs…3 Pomeranians. One died several months ago, and Kay’s son had one put down a few days ago. Now the ex-husband has the last one.

The son and daughter decided to have Kay cremated because they “didn’t want a dead body at the memorial service.” They won’t allow anybody to see her. They would not even let her sister stay with her last night. Kay died with a complete stranger, a male hospice worker.

I woke up early this morning, and had a feeling about Kay. I felt like she was close to death. Then when I talked to Kathryn, she said she felt the same thing this morning….Kay was on her mind, and she was praying for her. We both believe now that God was letting us know that she was going home. And yes….we do believe that God does things like that.

There is so much more about her family, but it would take me all night to write it. The north ends of south-bound mules came by their bad behavior naturally….they got it from Kay’s mother. Once when they were at another funeral, her mother told her too bad she didn’t just go ahead and die then, so they could just have a double funeral. It would be more convenient that way.

Her parents attended our church for a while, but decided to stop. Her dad said he had never sinned, so he didn’t need to be there. Of course, that was a big lie, so he did sin after all.

Kay has escaped the battle that was her family. They didn’t love her, but we did. I know that when she left her cancer-ridden body, she was immediately in the presence of God. There won’t be anymore suffering, and there won’t be anymore fighting. We will really miss her, but we are thrilled for her.


Kathryn and I finished the decorating this afternoon. It’s beautiful. I decided how I am going to do the cake. I’m making a heart-shaped cake. I’m going to melt white chocolate (I have much left from Brandon and Rachael’s wedding) and pour it over each layer. Then I am going to top each layer with fresh strawberries.

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I found out a few days ago that my cousin, Greg, who also has cancer, went to Florida for the next stage of his treatment. But he was too weak for the treatment, so they sent him back home. He has to return at a later date.

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Beth goes for her MRI in the morning. The plan is to sedate her, since she is extremely claustrophobic. We’ll see if this works. When I had mine, I had to have complete anesthesia.



9 thoughts on “Kay went home

  1. I am so sorry to hear about Kay.  She’s up in heaven now and at peace.  I remember reading an earlier post of yours where you wrote about taking Kay for treatment at MD Anderson.  She as blessed to have you as such a good friend.  Jill

  2. Praise God that Kay is now in the presence of Jesus, worshiping Him.  I know you grieve, but not as those who have no hope.  I’m sorry you and Beth won’t be able to sing at her funeral.  I know you would have been glad to honor her in that way.
    Her parents will answer to God unless they repent.  How terrible – both the way they treated her, and their destination if they don’t repent.  I’m glad she doesn’t have to endure her family’s rejection and abuse any more.

  3. :wave: Your friend Kay is home. No one can harm her any more. She is probably waving to tell you she is happy now. Rejoice with her.
    I cannot understand a church not reprimanding the husband ~ deacon. Guess biblical principles are not neccessary.

  4. That is so sad about your friend Kay.  I’m sorry to hear it.   The things her family said and did were appalling.   What is wrong with people?
    She won’t have to worry about them anymore.   She is home and surrounded by love.

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