Too much family….

I’m looking over some of my genealogy because I’ve been helping my sister today, in getting needed information for court. She is working on getting appointed as the trustee for our great-aunt’s estate, and her husband’s estate. We have to submit lists of all the heirs who will receive a part of the inheritance. It’s a mess. Especially when there are as many heirs as our family has.

Fortunately, there is already a mostly complete list because our family property in East Texas has oil on it, and royalty checks go out every year (very small ones) for a share of that oil. And no…I don’t get one. My mother is still alive. But there have been some deaths in the last year (like my uncle who had brain cancer). We’ve been adding his daughters to the list of heirs.

In my opinion, which is apparently not shared by the state of Texas, heirs should end somewhere! Especially when our family was so prolific. Our great-aunt Faye had one son. He died 17 years ago. He was not married and had no children. Faye’s husband died 8 years ago…6 years before her (Faye died in April 2006). One probate court has already ruled that the son, Ronnie, was her only heir. Yet now we have to go back and list all her siblings and their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren….ad nauseum. There isn’t that much money in the whole state of Texas, let alone Faye’s estate. There was several million dollars at one time, until Tommy spent it all on women and alcohol. Of course, she spent her fair shair on alcohol, too. She stayed soused after finding out Tommy was running around. It got worse after her only child died.

But I was reading some of the names in our Fulgham family (Faye’s and my grandmother’s maiden name). They had an uncle named Zalecaffer. What kind of a name is that? I just Googled Zalecaffer, and the only sites that come up, are sites that list him as a member of my family. Zalecaffer Fulgham. My mom calls him Uncle Caf (so apparently that’s what my grandmother called him), but apparently somewhere along the line he was called Zollie. I don’t really know which is worse.

Sunflower line

Please remember my cousin, Jill, in prayer today. She is having surgery. She is the 40 year old cousin with inflammatory breast cancer.

a woman and her chocolate

Virginia Court to Hear Lesbian Custody Battle 

‘This is such a critical case because it affects the rest of the nation.’ 

The Virginia Supreme Court will move a step closer on Thursday to deciding whether a lesbian woman will win custody of her ex-partner’s child, a decision that could undermine the state’s marriage amendment.

Janet Jenkins, who has no biological or adoptive ties to Lisa Miller’s 6-year-old daughter, Isabella, is seeking parental rights because she was in a relationship with Miller when the child was born. Miller got pregnant through artificial insemination from an anonymous donor, and the couple eventually ended the relationship.

Though Miller and Jenkins are Virginia residents, the Vermont Supreme Court, which issued the couple’s civil union in 2000, recently granted parental rights to Jenkins. However, the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is in place to protect states like Virginia from being forced to recognize another state’s same-sex union. Further, Virginia has a Marriage Affirmation Act and a constitutional amendment that define marriage as a union between one man and one woman.

Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women for America (CWA), said this is a crucial case because the Virginia Supreme Court will decide whether Miller and her child will be bound by Vermont law.

“This is such a critical case because it affects the rest of the nation,” she said. “If the Virginia Supreme Court rules that a lesbian can have parental control over a child that has no biological connection or any legal connection then this would wipe away the authority of DOMA, of the state constitutional amendment that defines marriage, and the state law that defines marriage.

“It could also challenge the work that pro-family activists have done for over a dozen years to protect marriage.”

Matt Barber, CWA’s policy director for cultural issues, said this case is of paramount national importance.

“Not only is a little girl’s spiritual, emotional and physical well-being at stake,” he said, “the Virginia Supreme Court will essentially be signaling whether states like Vermont and Massachusetts get to radically redefine marriage and family for the rest of the country.”

CWA is holding a prayer rally for Miller and Isabella Thursday morning outside the capitol courthouse.

“Lisa has become a Christian and is dedicated to raising her child in the ways of God,” Wright said. “So we’re asking people to pray for Lisa Miller, to pray for her child and to pray for a just outcome from the Virginia Supreme Court.”

And for you Californians………

Schwarzenegger Flip-Flops on Marriage 

California governor will oppose amendment.

After first saying he would support it, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger now says he will oppose a state constitutional amendment upholding marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

“I will always be there to fight against that,” Schwarzenegger told about 200 people attending the annual convention of the Log Cabin Republicans, a homosexual group.

Geoffrey Kors, executive director of the gay-activist group Equality California, told the Associated Press that Schwarzenegger’s opposition could help defeat the amendment or even prevent it from getting enough signatures to qualify for the ballot.

“We were thrilled. We have been asking him to do this,” Kors said. “The governor’s support to defeat it is critical.”

The California Family Council (CFC) has helped lead a coalition of national, state and local pro-family organizations known as, which has gathered more than 1 million signatures to place the marriage initiative on the November election ballot.

“We at the California Family Council are very disappointed and puzzled to learn that the governor would take a position contrary to his own actions where he repeatedly vetoed same-sex marriage legislation,” said Everett Rice, CFC’s legislative director. 

Ron Prentice, chief executive officer of CFC, said Schwarzenegger’s flip-flopping “reveals his false regard for the will of the people of California. More than 61 percent of California’s voters defined legal marriage as only between a man and a woman with the passage of Proposition 22 in 2000.”

Spanking Bill Alarms Family Advocates 

A bill in the California Assembly would criminalize spanking a child, and that worries the California Family Council (CFC).

“No one is in favor of child abuse and our society must do everything in its power to prevent violence toward children,” said Everett Rice, legislative coordinator for CFC.  “But the way this bill is written, a legitimate spanking can be equated with cutting a child. The accepted use of a swat with a hand could be construed as child abuse.”

The bill, A.B. 2943, makes no distinction between a commonly used and appropriate form of discipline and other, more violent acts. It was approved Tuesday by the Assembly Committee on Public Safety.

Dr. Dobson answers questions……….

Is it healthy to spank a child?

It just seems barbaric to cause pain to a defenseless child. Is it healthy to spank him or her?

Corporal punishment, when used lovingly and properly, is beneficial to a child because it is in harmony with nature itself. Consider the purpose of minor pain in a child’s life and how he learns from it. Suppose 2-year-old Peter pulls on a tablecloth and with it comes a vase of roses that cracks him between the eyes. From this pain, he learns that it is dangerous to pull on the tablecloth unless he knows what sits on it. When he touches a hot stove, he quickly learns that heat must be respected. If he lives to be a hundred years old, he will never again reach out and touch the red-hot coils of a stove. The same lesson is learned when he pulls the doggie’s tail and promptly gets a neat row of teeth marks across the back of his hand, or when he climbs out of his high chair when Mom isn’t looking and discovers all about gravity.

During the childhood years, he typically accumulates minor bumps, bruises, scratches and burns, each one teaching him about life’s boundaries. Do these experiences make him a violent person? No! The pain associated with these events teaches him to avoid making the same mistakes again. God created this mechanism as a valuable vehicle for instruction.

When a parent administers a reasonable spanking in response to willful disobedience, a similar nonverbal message is being given to the child. He must understand that there are not only dangers in the physical world to be avoided. He should also be wary of dangers in his social world, such as defiance, sassiness, selfishness, temper tantrums, behavior that puts his life in danger, that which hurts others, etc. The minor pain associated with this deliberate misbehavior tends to inhibit it, just as discomfort works to shape behavior in the physical world. Neither conveys hatred. Neither results in rejection. Neither makes the child more violent.

In fact, children who have experienced corporal punishment from loving parents do not have trouble understanding its meaning. I recall my good friends Art and Ginger Shingler, who had four beautiful children whom I loved. One of them went through a testy period where he was just “asking for it.” The conflict came to a head in a restaurant, when the boy continued doing everything he could to be bratty. Finally, Art took him to the parking lot for an overdue spanking. A woman passerby observed the event and became irate. She chided the father for “abusing” his son and said she intended to call the police. With that, the child stopped crying and said to his father, “What’s wrong with that woman, Dad?” He understood the discipline even if his rescuer did not. A boy or girl who knows that love abounds at home will not resent a well-deserved spanking. One who is unloved or ignored will hate any form of discipline!



4 thoughts on “Too much family….

  1. @buana – I hope this answer doesn’t come up twice later on. Xanga’s got bug problems :giggle:
    Thank you for your prayers. They are much appreciated.
    The kittens are still up in the attic. We hear them meow every time the Mamma Kitty goes up there. But I don’t really want to climb up in the attic to get them. I’m waiting, and praying, for her to bring them down.

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